Milkshakes
by mollycoddle
Summary: In which Beat thinks Rhyme's pregnant with Joshua's kid. Chaos.


I do not own The World Ends With You.

* * *

It was all Shiki's fault.

_All_ of it.

Okay, and Neku's. Because his hair is just so _in-your-face_.

Beat had seen Neku and his orange hair at some little pink and red girly café with gold cursive _Rose Blume _stencils on the windows and went in to disown him as his Male Friend, when he caught sight of who he was with. He ordered "the special" and waved the waitress away quickly.

Beat grinned. _Awwww, widdle Nekky-kins found a girlfwiend..._Then the grin slipped off._ Holy shit, is that Shiki?_

The girl pushed up her glasses and continued talking. "…and then we sat down at WildKat. So Rhyme still wasn't telling and I was getting nervous by now and I think she noticed—"

"You were twirling your hair around your index finger and staring at her intently, weren't you?"

"…Shut up. Then she kinda laughed, all nervous too, and Mr. H decided to just leave us because he could hear our conversation perfectly well in any part of the place, since you know there weren't any _customers_, and the place was silent…right, right, Rhyme—"

Beat frowned. _His_ little sister came to _him_ with her problems.

"—got a coffee, and we both know she doesn't drink that stuff, so I had to order two milkshakes—"

"Mr. H does _not_ serve milkshakes," interrupted Neku.

"Yes he does—not to you, but to us yeah."

_That bastard_, decided Beat. He was still trying to get the taste of vanilla hazelnut off his tongue.

"Neku, will you listen? Anyway, we're all fidgeting and I'm expecting Beat to barge in just because when she turns to me and says, 'So how do you know you're pregnant?'"

Beat's brain stopped working.

Neku's did too.

"…Hello? Neku? You okay?"

A minute later, when they both managed to pull their manliness together and have her continue, Shiki did. "So I have a mini freak-out and try to get her to tell me who the father is, when she says, 'It's Ja—' and then goes pale and looks into her 'shake."

"Wait," said Neku, and Beat tried not to whimper, "who's Jae?"

"_Joshua_, Neku. She meant to say _Joshua_. They've gotten a little close with Beat away at summer camp and between our outings, but…well, she _is_ the most mature sixteen-year-old I've ever met, and while I tried to cram my head full of whatever my professors were teaching me that day, I still remembered. Right. So how are you going to fix this?"

"Me? _Me_?"

"_You're_ the guy closest to him, so yeah, go and do it before Beat kicks his ass!...Oh, my God, IS THAT BEAT BEHIND YOU?"

But he was out the door and on his skateboard before Neku could turn around.

Shiki moaned.

* * *

Joshua was having a good day.

Its how these things usually start.

He left the UG to its own devices, meaning he had a few hours to kill time, went and had a chat with Mr. Hanekoma, got something tasty to eat at Ramen Don, since hey, it's not like he was gonna gain _weight_, flirted with a random girl, bought Rhyme the postcards she wanted from Moscow, and was going to meet her at WildKat.

He went in, met Rhyme, was in the process of giving her the little bag, when his Composer powers failed him and he was promptly slammed into a wall.

"Huh," he said. "Hey, Beat."

Rhyme's eyes widened before she scampered up and almost spilled Josh's tea.

Things happened.

Beat yelled a lot—

"ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

—threatened a lot more—

"And then I'm gonna shove the spork down yo throat and tear yo heart out if ya got one before breaking yo nose—"

—pointed accusingly at Joshua and Rhyme, and then continued with, "And I'M gonna raise the baby, and YOU are gonna die under my heel, man, and when our parents find out…!"

Mr. H thought this was all very great. You could tell.

"Beat," said Rhyme, now that she understood what was going on, "who told you?" She tried for an easy smile. It didn't work.

"…Someone," he grunted.

"It was Shiki, wasn't it?"

"She was tellin Neku at the German place," he mumbled, and snarled at Josh, so he wouldn't get comfy.

"Oh," said Rhyme, "she was probably getting advice…_oh_. No no no no—erk, uh, Beat, when we had that conversation— I wasn't talking about _me_, I was talking about…"

Beat raised Josh off the ground some more.

"—oh, this is so not easy—I think Mr. Jon Park got mom pregnant."

Beat blinked. "My prof.?"

"Yes," she squeaked, and awkwardly shoved some blond hair behind her ear.

"Oh," said Beat. "Okay. Sorry, Josh, no hard feelings?"

He put the guy down. Joshua sighed and righted his clothes. "Fine, thanks. Oh, and the bag's from a vendor in Russia, not an engagement ring."

Beat bumped his shoulder in a Very Manly, _Great_ Man way, and casually strolled off before grabbing Rhyme's milkshake.

* * *

**A/N**: So I had some fun with this—written in a few minutes, one look-over, not much else. Not much action. Take it as NekuShiki and/or JoshuaRhyme if you want.


End file.
